Shifted.

Its January the 11^th, is this too late to write a post about new year? Oh well, we are all in knee-deep on 2017 now, but, I think its never too late to write something related to contemplating ourselves, innit?

Another year has shifted in a blink of an eye. You woke up one day it was 2016, you woke up another day and its already a year ahead. Scary, isn't it? How time passes by, sprinting right in front of our eyes?

Lets begin with the earliest memory of 2016 I could ever recall. I could still remember that I was struggling to pass my final examination, or we all call it comprehensive test. It wouldn’t have been that hard if I hadn’t gone through something hard, yes, the loss of my loved one, my Dad. I put away my grieve, because there was no point in doing it, I still needed to pass this exam or else I would have to go through another 3-6 months to wait for the next test. I studied my ass off, I didn’t have enough sleep, and it felt like God knew my little family needed something good, so yes, thankfully, I passed the test. Bachelor of Chemical Engineering. The title I had been dreaming of having for the past 4 years.

My graduation day was quite memorable, to say the least. I was hesitant that it would be a great day since I would have my Dad around. But the presence of my closest friends, my Mom, my sister and my brother could surprisingly ease the pain. I was happy. Afterall I had gone through, I thought I would never be happy again, but I was, happy.

I signed up for my master’s degree. Sadly, my well-planned studying abroad plan had to be postponed due to some family and my own consideration. I choose to use the word “post pone” because I still believe that I could do it next time in the future, I will have to do it. I applied for Master’s of Business Administration in Bandung Institute of Technology.

My sister got married on November 26^th. It was kind of awkward. I mean, I was happy for both of them, but I still think to myself like how could a journey be so painful on my side and so happily ever after in another, and how could they get their happy ending whilst everyone around them were still recouping from the loss and the heartbreak they had caused. I’m still adjusting myself to the new life I’m facing.

2016 is indeed the year of endless learning. The year of getting back up and standing tall on my own feet, year of apologizing, year of being kind-hearted.

I have no high hope for this year. Resolutions always end up rotten, dull and left out. I have no expectations but I will do my best to make the most out of this year. I will surely continue to grow, to evolve, mature myself into a better human being.

I have fear. Fear that this year will pass by just like years before. Just like a lightning in the middle of the stormy days. Fast. Without any meaning whatsoever. I have fear. But fear won't get me nowhere. 

2017, let's see how you will treat me, shall we?