Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Religion: Personal Thoughts and Experiences

Faith, religion, God, I think for some people this is not a regular topic you can throw on your lunch break or on your casual hang out session in a coffee shop with some friends. Probably it is a usual topic in certain countries for certain people, but for me, it certainly isn't.

I was born as a Muslim, both my mum and my dad are a muslim, and all members in my big family are all muslim, although I still have some Christian relatives from my dad's side.  Even until this present time, I'm still having a hard time adjusting myself with religious family I was born in, especially from my mum's side. They don't give any space for other people to ask. I'm still judged because I'm the only one left who hasn't decided to wear Hijab. Growing up in certain teachings here in Indonesia, I didn't question every single thing, I just did what I was told to do: read the holy Qur'an and pray five times a day. As I got older, I met new people with different background and beliefs. Even at that time, it wasn't common to ask or talk about your religion since it was judged to be a private matter. You'd be considered rude to even start let alone discuss about it. I could confidently say that I was religious back on high school. I never missed my 5 times prayer and I did sunnah prayers as well. I even got even more religious on my last year of high school since I wanted to get into a specific University so I never missed my midnight prayer and never stopped praying. I had never questioned about odd things and magic things in holy Qur'an about our prophet's gift for example Moses who could split the red sea and many more. 

This started to change when I finally got rejected by that University. I was so disappointed and angry. I started questioning why I even bothered to spare time to wake up in the middle of the night to pray when at the end of the day God didn't grant my wish. The only wish I thought important. This was getting even more out of hand cos I got into a catholic University, where I met a lot of people from different teachings and different way in perceiving the concept of religion and faith. In fact, in my first year of Uni, I met lots of people who don't believe in God, or those people who don't believe in religion. I started straying, missing my 5 times prayer and I started questioning the most dangerous and risky question when it comes to religion: "Why?". I met a guy, who turned out to be a good friend of mine, and he's an atheist. He asked a lot about critical questions such as: Why do you have to pray 5 times a day? How do you know that He listens to your prayers? How do you know its all real? I was baffled, since I had never asked myself those questions before. 

Luckily, I had someone I could discuss this with without cornering me: my dad. He read a lot books and he talked to a lot people. He taught me that all religions are the same, each of them teaches kindness. I was gaining my faith back and I was starting to get a better understanding about religion itself.

These days, if you ask about this matter to me, I would say that sometimes I still have some doubts in mind. I still question some stuff and I still am not a religious person. The thing is, I have learnt when to stop questioning and just get on with it, cos it is the point of religion: having faith towards the teaching. As a muslim, I'm not allowed to drink alcohols and eat pork. For this matter, I could definitely ask why and find out the reasons myself. On the other hand, for some reasons and deeper teaching, those things that I couldn't find the answer, I know now that I don't have to know everything, I just have to believe. I used to be scared of having conversations about this since I was afraid that my faith would be shaken. But today, I'm not scared anymore because I have my own understandings about what I stand for, about my faith. Sometimes I wonder, are people who get offended if they are asked to discuss religion matter actually scared their faith be shaken? Or are they simply scared because they actually don't have any?

You see, all religions are right and good. I hate that people often fight over which religions are the right one, or the best one. Why should we all compare? Why should we decide and prove that one religion is better than another? I think it would be much better we are all focus on our own beliefs without comparing it with other people's because if we do, just look at the world, fights and wars are all over it. The core message of every religion is the same, to give, to be kind and to do good thing to one another, so why don't we all do it instead of trying to diminish and dismiss other religions? It's just so ironic when people blame religion for whatever bad things that have been happening in this world where the only problem is the people. How we blame muslims for suicide bombers and ISIS, how we judge christians for dark past of some Popes and how people somehow make Israel-Palestina conflict as religion war where its just simply greedy  people who want to claim whats not theirs.

I think the world needs a better understanding when it comes to religion. People don't understand and they sometimes forget that the point of every religion is kindness. 

But who am I to judge? In my humble opinion, I think its best for me to mend and fix my own thoughts. Cos I realise that one person could make a change even if it takes the longest possible time.

For those of you who are having a hard time regarding your own faith, please don't be afraid and don't be scared. I can see why you're feeling that way since our society tends to exile people who are different, both in thoughts or actions. Please, don't be afraid. Talk to people who you think could be open minded and read a lot of books. It's not wrong to question everything as long as you know where and who to ask and when to stop.

World will surely be a much better place if we all go back to the roots instead of staying up on the surface. It will be a much more peaceful land if people don't bash each other, and try to prove which one is better. A lot of people today have grown to be those who's so judgemental and stubborn. Sometimes I wonder, would I be okay if tomorrow I had to go outside this country and live in the country which the majority of its people aren't as Muslim? Will they hate me? Will they stare at me and judge me?

Having religion or not, having a faith or not, believe in God or not, that doesn't matter, does it? As long as you're kind to other beings in this world, that is what matters.

Til next time.

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