Blogging: My Experience

I have been so consistent for this past few weeks, one post per week. Well to be honest, its hard to keep up with it cos sometimes you just don't have anything in mind, let alone write it down virtually. For the past 3 weeks, I have been writing about things I've been doing, I have done or simply just personal thoughts and opinion. I've been so busy this week since the classes started on Monday and it has been super tense since then. But I really need to write and post something.

I have been writing a blog since I was in middle high school. I wrote some trash relating to my days, gloomy days, boys I liked and so on, so on. Then there was a time when Tumblr was so hype so I jumped there as well. But then at the end of my high school years, I decided to delete my Tumblr page (which by that time had reached about more than 100 posts) because I thought it was turning into something so personal and it felt so unoriginal.

I started this page on February 2014 but I haven't really organised and posted regularly, simply because I'm kinda losing my interest on writing for the past few years. Going back from the roots, I was born in a family whom all the members like to wrote. My dad submitted some writings to a local newspaper regularly, criticising the government or simply just making comments about anything. My mum, well, she writes at work but not as a hobby, and my sister isn't so much of a writer. I, on the other hand, have always had something for writing.

In middle school, I was so poetic. I wrote a lot of poems. This happened until high school, even until the first 2 years of Uni. They weren't so good but I just loved doing it. Then I just stopped. I came back to the old version of writing: diaries.

But then in early 2014, I thought that I wanted to start blogging again, for the sake of my sanity. I have always been that type of person who has a lot of friends but only have a handful of them as those people I could rely on. Having this blog and having this sort of sanctuary for me to put every single thoughts and complains about the world. Another word, this blog is the only way I could whine without looking too weak.

For those of you who love to write but doubt their own writings, just keep on writing cos its for yourself. You do it not to please anyone but to please yourself.

Writing is like a yoga for me, it keeps me calm and it helps me channeling my emotion, the bad and the good ones. When I took a hiatus from writing couple years ago, I realised that I got angry easily and sometimes I just felt empty in all of the sudden. I like it. Correction: I love it.

Anyway, I'm writing this post right now so that I don't miss this week's routine. as I have mentioned earlier on this post: I have been very consistent. LOL

Til we meet again.

Religion: Personal Thoughts and Experiences

Faith, religion, God, I think for some people this is not a regular topic you can throw on your lunch break or on your casual hang out session in a coffee shop with some friends. Probably it is a usual topic in certain countries for certain people, but for me, it certainly isn't.

I was born as a Muslim, both my mum and my dad are a muslim, and all members in my big family are all muslim, although I still have some Christian relatives from my dad's side.  Even until this present time, I'm still having a hard time adjusting myself with religious family I was born in, especially from my mum's side. They don't give any space for other people to ask. I'm still judged because I'm the only one left who hasn't decided to wear Hijab. Growing up in certain teachings here in Indonesia, I didn't question every single thing, I just did what I was told to do: read the holy Qur'an and pray five times a day. As I got older, I met new people with different background and beliefs. Even at that time, it wasn't common to ask or talk about your religion since it was judged to be a private matter. You'd be considered rude to even start let alone discuss about it. I could confidently say that I was religious back on high school. I never missed my 5 times prayer and I did sunnah prayers as well. I even got even more religious on my last year of high school since I wanted to get into a specific University so I never missed my midnight prayer and never stopped praying. I had never questioned about odd things and magic things in holy Qur'an about our prophet's gift for example Moses who could split the red sea and many more. 

This started to change when I finally got rejected by that University. I was so disappointed and angry. I started questioning why I even bothered to spare time to wake up in the middle of the night to pray when at the end of the day God didn't grant my wish. The only wish I thought important. This was getting even more out of hand cos I got into a catholic University, where I met a lot of people from different teachings and different way in perceiving the concept of religion and faith. In fact, in my first year of Uni, I met lots of people who don't believe in God, or those people who don't believe in religion. I started straying, missing my 5 times prayer and I started questioning the most dangerous and risky question when it comes to religion: "Why?". I met a guy, who turned out to be a good friend of mine, and he's an atheist. He asked a lot about critical questions such as: Why do you have to pray 5 times a day? How do you know that He listens to your prayers? How do you know its all real? I was baffled, since I had never asked myself those questions before. 

Luckily, I had someone I could discuss this with without cornering me: my dad. He read a lot books and he talked to a lot people. He taught me that all religions are the same, each of them teaches kindness. I was gaining my faith back and I was starting to get a better understanding about religion itself.

These days, if you ask about this matter to me, I would say that sometimes I still have some doubts in mind. I still question some stuff and I still am not a religious person. The thing is, I have learnt when to stop questioning and just get on with it, cos it is the point of religion: having faith towards the teaching. As a muslim, I'm not allowed to drink alcohols and eat pork. For this matter, I could definitely ask why and find out the reasons myself. On the other hand, for some reasons and deeper teaching, those things that I couldn't find the answer, I know now that I don't have to know everything, I just have to believe. I used to be scared of having conversations about this since I was afraid that my faith would be shaken. But today, I'm not scared anymore because I have my own understandings about what I stand for, about my faith. Sometimes I wonder, are people who get offended if they are asked to discuss religion matter actually scared their faith be shaken? Or are they simply scared because they actually don't have any?

You see, all religions are right and good. I hate that people often fight over which religions are the right one, or the best one. Why should we all compare? Why should we decide and prove that one religion is better than another? I think it would be much better we are all focus on our own beliefs without comparing it with other people's because if we do, just look at the world, fights and wars are all over it. The core message of every religion is the same, to give, to be kind and to do good thing to one another, so why don't we all do it instead of trying to diminish and dismiss other religions? It's just so ironic when people blame religion for whatever bad things that have been happening in this world where the only problem is the people. How we blame muslims for suicide bombers and ISIS, how we judge christians for dark past of some Popes and how people somehow make Israel-Palestina conflict as religion war where its just simply greedy  people who want to claim whats not theirs.

I think the world needs a better understanding when it comes to religion. People don't understand and they sometimes forget that the point of every religion is kindness. 

But who am I to judge? In my humble opinion, I think its best for me to mend and fix my own thoughts. Cos I realise that one person could make a change even if it takes the longest possible time.

For those of you who are having a hard time regarding your own faith, please don't be afraid and don't be scared. I can see why you're feeling that way since our society tends to exile people who are different, both in thoughts or actions. Please, don't be afraid. Talk to people who you think could be open minded and read a lot of books. It's not wrong to question everything as long as you know where and who to ask and when to stop.

World will surely be a much better place if we all go back to the roots instead of staying up on the surface. It will be a much more peaceful land if people don't bash each other, and try to prove which one is better. A lot of people today have grown to be those who's so judgemental and stubborn. Sometimes I wonder, would I be okay if tomorrow I had to go outside this country and live in the country which the majority of its people aren't as Muslim? Will they hate me? Will they stare at me and judge me?

Having religion or not, having a faith or not, believe in God or not, that doesn't matter, does it? As long as you're kind to other beings in this world, that is what matters.

Til next time.

August the 17th: Independence Day

In case you haven't checked the date, today is August the 17th. Yes, it's Indonesia's 71st Independence Day. I have a strong feeling that today is going to pass like any other day, tomorrow will come in an instant. It used to be one of many public holidays I fancied the most, because it used to be fun with all the mini games and presents. I used to always team up with my friends in neighbourhood early in the morning, had fun in the field nearby, and came home late in the afternoon. At some point, there was this bike-decorating championship and we had to march around with our bikes full of decorations, ribbons and even balloons. Well, they still do it up until today, but I guess I'm too old to do those kind of things anymore. It would surely be awkward and it wouldn't be fair for  those little children cos I could take away their present in a blink of an eye.

My own comprehension and cognisance of the concept of Independence day was nothing more than just mini contests, games and championships. I (and I believe many of Indonesian youngsters) had been doing an obligatory ceremony every Monday for almost 12 years since elementary school in which there was a moment of silence to honour the fallen heroes of this nation but did I really understand what that was all about? No. To be fair here, those ceremonies were obligatory, we had to stand for almost an hour and we had to listen to same thing every time. We didn't do it voluntarily, we felt like we were forced to do it. Today, I have realised that this ceremony is intended to shape us, the youngsters, so that we become people with a high sense of nationalism, and of course so that we don't forget where we came from, and what we had to go through. The agony we had to endure for years of years of torture and the pain we had to bear for loosing the ones we loved. The blood that was dripped for our own land, and freedom.

I could remember that history had never been a delightful subject for me. I didn't fancy reading those type of books, let alone doing the test. I learned history from my Dad, because he liked telling stories and I liked to ask and listen. I could confidently say I'm a person with a strong sense of nationalism and patriotism, at least compared to other people my age. I could also say that this wasn't built by those ceremonies I did back on those days, it was built by my own research.

This is not what this post is going to be all about, not about nationalism or patriotism. 

Even until 6 years ago, every August 17th, I would wake up, turn on the TV and watch the national ceremony (cos sure as hell it's just super interesting to watch). Then I would have a brief discussion with my dad about how far this country had gone. I would then go to my room, contemplated everything and started feeling disgusted because I would realise that this country hadn't done anything significant. I would feel annoyed with all those corruptors who rotted this country from the inside. I would make a post criticising the government, then eventually failed to post it. I would blame everyone and everything for this miserable country. I would hate everyone and everything but me.

Today I woke up. I realised that I have changed now, not sure how long. I don't blame them anymore. I blame myself. This country's future is in my hand, and it's my responsibility as a citizen to build this country to be a better place for anyone. Sure I could still see all the defects this country keeps making, from the 2 weeks old ministry to the poor girl who couldn't join the Flag Hoisting Troop. All those issue diversions every time something bad comes up to the surface. This country still needs a serious fix, but I have come to a realisation that its my job to fix it. 

For my fellow young adults, be on my side. Don't be someone who comes forward to criticise but do nothing practical about it. Be someone who does something. Everyone can have brilliant thoughts and concepts but not everyone could do something about it. Don't blame the government, and be them instead. Make a change, help our country.

These words could probably mean nothing. This could also probably sound meaningless and sound hell of a bullshit. At least I did something, have you done something?

Thank you for those of you who have reached this point and read this post until the very end. 

Bootcamp and Personal Thoughts

About two weeks ago, I had to do an obligatory activity from the University I'm doing my master's in (you can read the full coverage about my journey til I got accepted here). I think its not quite right to call it activity since it wasn't a singular noun, cos I had to do tons of activity for 4 days. Frankly speaking, I was hesitant to do it, because I didn't think it was the right thing to do at this age. In addition, I felt like I was too old to do such activities. It even crossed my mind that I should pretend to be sick or something just to get away from it. Too bad, the certificate I would get from this activity, or a what-so-called "Bootcamp", is required in order to graduate later on. 

On Thursday the 7th, I had to go super early in the morning cos we all had to hop on a bus. It was such a torture to wake up early cos I was used to wake up late since I got nothing to do in the morning. The first destination was an old river located just outside a small city called Sukabumi. I think you've probably guessed it right, yes, we were going to do some rafting. I was so nervous since I hadn't done it before. The river was so wide, and they said that there would be 21 cascades along the river and it would take approximately 3 hours. I don't know about you guys, but I am definitely not an outdoorsy kind of person so having to be under the excruciating sunlight for 3 hours straight, on a boat, with 21 cascades and a huge possibility to fall into the water, was too much for me to bear. Unfortunately, there was no other choice and I had to go through it. I could lie and say that I had a serious illness that could be fatal if I kept going but if I had done it, I wouldn't have had anything to talk about and I wouldn't have had a new experience to reminisce in the future. At first it was scary I'm not gonna lie but after a while, it became soothing to see how the water flew, how it dripped between the stones. It was just amazing to see the trees, the river and sky coalescing together to form such a pretty view. We were not allowed to bring our phones or cameras while we did the rafting (duh, of course) so sadly, I didn't (because I couldn't) take any pictures. After sailing the river for 3 hours (which surprisingly didn't feel like it was THAT long), we finally arrived at the finished point where we could wash up our body and basically get cleaned up. I hate this kind of thing with. a. passion. I'm a very practical person, and I'm super organised it makes me uptight sometimes, so having to queue then taking a quick bath while someone is waiting for her turn in front of the door kinda made me feel anxious and uncomfortable in many ways. But then again, I had to cos we fell into the water (the boat that I was in was almost flipped basically and 3 out of 5 people in it fell right into the water on the 11th cascade), and my body smelled like poo. Not to mention my hair as well, which smelled even worse.

From the 8th to the 10th, the bootcamp took place in a hotel or a resort. I met lots of new friends. We were placed in small group and at some point there were some sort of mini games and each group had to compete against each other. The bootcamp wasn't really a  bootcamp, you know, when we hear "bootcamp", we (well at least I do), tend to think it military type of activity with push ups, sit ups, and all kind of physical punishments included. So it wasn't really a bootcamp since there was no yelling involved, let alone physical punishments. We were forced and trained to be confident and speak up our mind since they said that for next 2 years in the program, we would have to be able to do such things.

( This is where this post is getting personal )

Usually, I'm always open for new friends, new things and new people. But this time, I found it hard to connect with people. I found it hard to build an emotional bonding with these new people. I still have it though, the ability to just be friend with people. I met lots of new, nice and kind people in my batch, but it was so hard to have like a strong connection and intimate relationship. I know that it was just a 3 days activity but normally, 3 days would be enough for me to deduce and to see whom I'm gonna feel the connection with. This time, it wasn't like that. It was so hard to connect and to reach that level where the friendship or the relationship gets personal. There was a point when I thought that this could end bad cos I'm that type of person who needs at least one person to rely on even if this person and I don't end up as a best friend. Dont get me wrong though, I have some nice friends now but I don't think I would have a strong friendship with these guys. Maybe I'm being prejudice and shallow, I know. 

I have came to realise that you don't always need bestfriends once you get older. I think at this age, I have grown up and I have shaped myself into something as a whole and those people I have from the past, who have known me for years, and noticed and also witnessed the changes I've been through are the people I need the most. I don't want to bother myself explaining, proving and showing myself to these new people and expect them to understand me. Plus, its kinda tiring to tell these new people my 22 years old story and I'm sure they wont be bothered to listen as well. This is why I kinda feel disconnected with my new friends. I have freed myself from every expectation I used to have from meeting new people. 

The thing is, even if I feel like I don't need a new BFF, I still think that I need someone I could talk to, cos two years of this program could too much at some point and I honestly think I would need someone to simply share the burden I might have in the future. I know that I could still talk to Ayu or Andrea or other friends but lets just be real, it would be so much more relieving to share your thoughts, anxiety or to ask for point of views, perspectives and advices to someone who is going thru the same thing as you are. Crossed my fingers that I would meet this someone.Oh, when it comes romantic-wise relationship, I really don't expect that much. Not because all the guys I meet here (they are super decent and nice), its more like I'm still fixing everything in me, and I don't think someone will like me soon. Sounds pretty much pathetic but, hey, I am just being honest here. 

Til next time!

Master of Business Administration (MBA-ITB): My Experience

Hi! As I promised here, I'm gonna try to explain and tell you about my experience and every progress I went through till I got accepted in MBA-ITB as meticulous as I can. But I reckon this topic will be useful for Indonesian, I'll write this post in Bahasa, for the sake of purposes.

Jadi di post ini, aku mau coba jelasin tentang pengalamanku saat ikut tes MBA-ITB dari pertama sampe akhirnya aku keterima. Motivasi utama aku bikin post ini karena pengalaman pribadi, dimana dula akupun menghabiskan waktu cukup lama untuk browsing pengalaman pengalaman orang yang ikut tes MBA-ITB.

For those of you who need to know more about MBA-ITB you can go to their website. Basically, untuk MBA-ITB ini merupakan salah satu program yang ditawarkan oleh Sekolah Bisnis Manajemen ITB (SBM-ITB) until Program Magister. Selain MBA, ditawarkan juga program magister lain yaitu MSM (Master of Science Management). Tapi karena aku daftar untuk MBA, aku akan bantu temen-temen yang mau daftar MBA saja.

To start this post, yang harus diperhatikan adalah, semua persiapan dan proses admission di MBA-ITB ini dilakukan mandiri. Pastikan kamu punya akses internet yang mudah, supaya gampang. Pihak MBA-ITB sendiri sangat bergantung dan memanfaatkan teknologi email, karens itu, harus punya email dan usahakan akses ke email juga gampang ya!

Pertama.

Pertama-tama yang harus kamu lakukan adalah cek website MBA (aku link di atas) dan cari tau program yang kamu mau. Karena ada beberapa. Ada Young Professional, Creative and Cultural Entrepreneurship (CCE) dan EMBA (Executive MBA). Pastikan kamu tau apa tujuan kamu dan kami mau jadi apa setelah lulus program master ini. Aku pribadi ambil Young Professional karena; pengalaman kerjaku masih di bawah satu tahun dan kurikulum di YP MBA-ITB cocok dengan tujuanku saat nanti lulus. Banyakin ngobrol sama orang ataupun cari tau di internet masing-masing program ini belajar apa dan akan members kamu benefit apa.

Kedua.

After deciding which program suits you best, the next thing you should do is cek jadwal tes. Jadwal tes ini biasanya ada beberapa gelombang. Kalau kamu ga lolos di gelombang satu, boleh ikut yang selanjutnya. Jadwal tes yang available juga bisa diliat di website. Test yang dilakukan itu ada 2-3 test. Untuk program Young Professional, tes-nya cuma AAT dan Test ELPT. AAT ini versi lebih mudahnya dari GMAT (Graduate Management Admission Test). Untuk latihan dan cara belajar dari AAT ini sendiri, for me personally, it wasn't that hard. I had a month to study before the test. Untuk bukunya sendiri bisa kamu beli di Gramedia (Barron's) atau kalau yang mau ebook-nya, you can contact me personally and I'll be happy to send you the ebook. ELPT itu tes bahasa inggris yang lebih mudah dari TOEFL ataupun TOEIC. Tesnya sendiri dibagi jadi beberapa section yaitu reading, listening, dan structure. If you choose other program such as CCE, akan ada interview untuk business plan kamu. 

Ketiga.

You have chosen the most suitable test schedule for you, setelah itu, kamu harus bikin akun registrasi di laman penerimaan mahasiswa baru ITB atau registrasi online. Di dalam websitenya, kamu harus isi biodata, lalu harus juga nge-upload berkas berkas atau dokumen. Nah, menurutku yang ribet adalah ngurusin dokumen-dokumen untuk pendaftarannya. Seingatku, yang harus disiapkan adalah Ijazah S1 (asli dan fotocopy legalisir), Transkrip Nilai S1 (asli dan fotocopy legalisir), tanda pengenal (KTP atau SIM), surat keterangan sehat (ini paling malesin, harus ke Puskesmas dan nunggu lama hanya untuk dicek berat badan, tinggi badan, dan tekanan darah). Selain itu, kamu juga harus bayar biaya test lewat ATM atau bank, dan bukti pembayarannya juga merupakan berkas yang diperlukan. Selengkapnya bisa dicek di website-nya ya. Setelah lengkap, berkas-berkas ini harus discan dan diupload ke akun online yang sudah dibuat sebelumnya. Berkas fisik ini juga harus dikasih ke kantor admission SBM di depan SABUGA.

Ketiga.

TESTING DAY! Tesnya mudah kok, kendalanya hanya waktu aja. Kerasanya cepat banget, mungkin karena udah lama juga ga ujian kaya gitu. Saranku, when you practice solving either GMAT or ELPT problems, try timing it, jadi terbiasa untuk ngerjain dengan frame waktu. Testing days will take 2 days in a row. I'll advice you not to compare your answers with other people cos there's no good in doing it. After this test, the only thing you should do is cross your finger and hope for the best.

Umm, I think that is all I could remember. I know this is not much but I hope this could help anyone of you who are planning to take this program. I'll be gladly help you with your questions if you have any and please do contact me on my email (evyta.rosalina@yahoo.com) or simply comment down below. 

The most important thing is, be sure that this is what you want to do. Cos it takes a lot of energy once you get accepted, and it definitely takes much money to finish your Master's. So yeah, anyway, catch ya in the next post!

Updates!

Hi! I know, I know, I'm a bad blogger, probably the worst blogger ever, since I haven't posted anything since last March and I don't post regularly. I'm so sorry, really, I don't know how to explain because honestly I've been doing nothing.

So, updates here we come!

On my post right here, I said that I had been planning to go abroad for my Master's. Sadly, I had to cancel (or postpone) all of those plans due to certain things. I will definitely make separate post about this matter but for right now, let's just say, well, things have developed differently.

Anyway, long story short, I still am continuing my education but obviously have to do it here in Indonesia. After a long and tiring research about programmes I want to take along with spending much time thinking about what I want to do in the future, I decided that I wanted to get a degree that can help me to reach my goal to work in Aviation Industry. As a Bachelor of Chemical Engineering, there aren't many jobs available in that particular industry so I think if I take a more general major for my Master's, I could have a future in that field. I want to have an international degree and use my english for a better use other than writing a blog or talking to myself in my car every time I drive, so then again, after spending hours on researching for the best programmes for that criteria, I chose MBA-ITB (Banding Institute of Technology). I was a bit hesitant at first cos it felt kind of cliche (didn't make it for a bachelor degree, then tried for Master's), but then I think MBA-ITB meets all the criteria I was looking for.

I went through some tests (will write about this as well!), and thankfully I made it. So long story short, now I'm waiting for my classes to start! So thrilled for it, of course! I have been attending some pre-courses activities for the past few days, met and made a lot of new friends with different educational background. To be frank here, I had a mild panic attack on the first day. I'm still not sure why it happened cos I had always been great at socialising. I guess it had been a little while since I had to adapt myself in a new environment and society. But at the end of the day, I got my skill back and made tons of friend!

There's this both outdoor and indoor activities that I have to go through this weekend, one of many is rafting. I am super scared cos they say we're gonna have to go thru 12km in distance for 3 hours. I have never been on this kind of activity. So pumped but terrified at the same time. Wish me luck!

And last thing, I got myself a new Laptop. Suuuuper excited. I have been planning to create more contents on this blog and I have lots of thing in mind for sure. I promise myself I'll write regularly this time.

Oh well, things aren't going as expected but I do really hope I'm taking the best path.