I woke up feeling nauseous this morning. I had a feeling
that it must be my gastric acid. I recalled the last couple days, when was the
last time I ate a proper lunch, breakfast or dinner. It was about two days ago.
I didn’t have a proper lunch and dinner yesterday. Now I’m thinking to myself, “God
damn it, its happening again”.
You see, it has been a really stressful week. Mid-term was
overwhelming and the stakes were high. I came home late at night just because I
hang outside a bit longer for group study. I helped friends with their studies
also, just because I could.
This is what happens everytime I get tied up in doing
certain things. I’ll be so coped with the things I’m working on that I forget
that I’m a human who needs food, sleep, breathe and just simply to wind down.
Not only, my gastric acid is killing me but the feeling of
depletion is making me even more depressed. Well, I may be putting this out of
proportion, but the thing is, should we feel excited and accelerated after we
give something to people? Shouldn’t we feel ecstatic every time we see the
sparks in others’ eyes once they receive our help? What’s happening now is
completely the opposite.
I then sought for a help, online ( not a wise thing to do ).
The thing is, when we aim to help and give, we also need to
refuel ourself, otherwise we would be drained and exhausted. We need to
preserve ourself as well. We need to put out self first, settled then help
people. Therefore, there wouldn’t be such thing as depletion and exhaustion.
Sometimes I give too much that I don’t care about myself. I go out with a
broken hearted friends just to become their company without realising that I
need some me time too. Sometimes people give too much without refuelling themselves.
So they are drained at the end, emptiness that leads to depletion.
Giving is a form of art. I my self haven't really mastered the art of giving. Just like an art, we invest ourself when we give. We put a little bit of ourself in others. We give a little bit of ourself to others. It will take a little bit of ours too, that's why, we gotta keep filling in ourself.
Giving is beautiful. It makes us human. It makes our presence on earth matters. But remember to give yourself too.
